the longest update and the saddest one i think

Well... just to sum up ... Lucas Christian Tan Shan Wei , My precious Son was born on the 3rd of April 2008. One Beautiful gift from God ...


Isnt he Lovely ???

Well , he is and always will be the antidote to all my problems and unhappiness....

In fact .. seeing him give me joy , motivation to work ...

Well .. Honestly , this aside... Babies never cause problems.... its the Adults that do cause problem...

Well believe it or not... Below are the shit that happen in my life and make me conclude that Adults are just too fucking free and are alwyas causing unrest...


1)my eldest sister came over one night for dinner with me , my wife and parents...Over some conversation and tension arrived....( i would not want to go into the detail of what it is all about)
Two things that i can do then to end the commotion.....
1) I BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HER
2) I THROW HER OUT OF MY HOUSE

I know at that moment , i am losing it ... if it goes on any further ... i think she will be a dead bitch ... I open my gate..threw her shoes out and tell her to fuck off...( i admit... i was wrong)

Well , soon after , she SMS my wife that she never haf a brother like me no more... ok ok ... layman term = DISOWN ME ...

Hey ...ask me if i am sad , hurt.. actually ... i didnt really give a damn .. The only thing that upset me was i found her shoe sole lying ard the lift lobby the next day .. i was like...Wah liew!! why didnt she bring her sole along...

Anyway ... Chasing your sister out of the house or Being disown ... Which is a deadlier crime ??

Well....then came my mum ... i dont get it ...she is always defending my sis... of cos she will always say its not true but her action is otherwise...

She say i was wrong for chasing her out... Thats all she said.... HELLO!!!! DISOWN!!! HELLO !!! DING DING DING.... DISOWN BY MY SIS RING A BELL ??? she didnt even say anything abt that... SHE ONLY SAID...I WAS WRONG... I MUST GIVE IN AS I AM YOUNGER....

I said .. OK , I WILL GIVE IN TO HER......................................NOT!!!!!!!!!!

No way ...

So ... disowned liao ... means nothing to do with me liao ... nothing to do with my family...
Then yesterday 20/4/08

She went to buy milk powder for my baby .... and guess what... the whole damn family lied to me abt it ... saying that its frm my elder sister, from my mum ....EVEN MY WIFE kept mum about it

When i found out.. I TOTALLY SNAPPED~!!!! HELLO.... I WONT WANA TAKE SOMETHING FRM A STRANGER!! OH HELL NO!!!!!! MY PRIDE, MY DIGNITY IS WORTH MUCH MORE THAN JUST 28 dollars...THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Well... what am i thinking...

I believe everyone of us haf times where you are desperate... you are tired... you need help.... but then again .. you know Who are those who will help you and who are those who aint real abt helping you .... WOULD YOU SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE and get help from such Asses?? I know i wont ... i return the money for the powder to my mum ...ask her to return to that EX sis of mine

Damn PISSED

This aside...

Baby = problem ? NAH .... GRAND MOTHERS AND GRANDFATHERS and older folks are the problem

Lucas was admitted for jaundice soon after he was born... after which we were told to sun tan him abit.... When we bring him downstairs.. all the irritating old aunties will be like vultures attacking us.... giving us ways to cure jaundice... I really wish they understand English then
IF they understand english then ... I HAVE only TWO WORDS FOR THEM ...FUCK OFF!!!

Back to Lucas.... His full name is Lucas Christian Tan Shan Wei ... Well... my FIL was not happy that i named him that ..he said its too long... and was upset .... WAT THE HECK ... HE IS MY SON... I NAME HIM WAT I WANT TO NAME HIM !!!
I carry my son... In laws , my folks all make noise...
You CANT CARRY THIS WAY
YOU CANT DO THIS
YOU CANT DO THAT

Hello... REAILTY CHECK : : FIRST TIME DADDY.... remember???

They fucking dont even give me a chance with my son....

He cried when i carry him.. WHY ???

Simple....when i carried him ... i got him up , my mum screamed at me...saying that i am too rough.... I tell her ... BULLSHIT... HE IS Crying because she suddenly SHOUTED and he got a shock ...

When my wife and i decided to bring him to church 1 week after he was born, The grandparents are not happy again ...

they say , baby immune system is weak ... must not be at an enclosed area... Well ... great , i asked them this question ; how is Lucas going to go to hospital for check up ? Its an enclosed area and full of bacteria.... How is lucas going to stay at home ? home is enclosed area too.. I told them... YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT... I AM GOING TO STAY IN THE NATURE PARK ...well at least its not enclosed... :)

Case 3

Doctor mention to us try not to feed lucas with water.. stick to milk as milk contain enough fluid...
Well , my mum dont believe and keep insisting that she wana feed him with water ...
the typical answers are as followed when she was asked :

WHATS THE BOTTLE OF WATER FOR ??

Oh ...i am using it to wash pacifier ...( VERY SMART , MILK BOTTLE TO WASH PACIFIER ..HOW ORIGINAL)

IN CASE OF HICCUPS i can feed him some water ( HELLO!!! WATER TO CURE HICCUPS IS A MYTH!!!)

She totally ignored me and say ...YOU THINK YOUR SON WANA DRINK WATER MEH ???

Case 4

Lucas was having heat rash..

He sneeze a few times in like a few hrs... ( its perfectly normal , its a way of baby to clear their nose )

Grandma thinking : HE IS COLD!!!! WRAP HIM UP WITH TOWELS, BLANKETS!!! = HEAT RASH

then she use her hand to attempt to rub the heat rash away = MORE HEAT RASH!!!

I told her my son is not cold...he is hot... SHE IGNORE ME..
SHE SAY HOW THE HECK I KNOW ALL THESE... SHE IS EXPERIENCED ENOUGH TO KNOW ALL THE FACTS .. SHE BABYSIT 10 KIDS IN TOTAL...But reality check again : answer should be 3
the other 7 are toddlers
NOT NEW BORN!!

Sometime i think .... if we haf a bloody machine that allows us to know what babies are thinking... it will be great ....



Anyway this will go on and on and on ....


You knw... with greater power come greater responsibilities and i am feeling that right now...

I mean ... i am now a father... Diona *( my lovely wife) is currently jobless still and i am the sole bread winner for this house hold... some how i am amazed by God's provision all these while... Because Diona got retrenched since she was 3 mth pregnant and i was kinda earning all i can to support this household...
Now come Lucas... i start to have fear at times... will i be able to let him lead a gd life....I totally understand how Will Smith felt in the show ( The pursuit of Happyness) and i really have fear that WILL that happen to me ... its a fear and it freaks me out


Anyway .... those who read this entry ... i thank you .... but Honestly, the content is too messy ... ha ha ... i am just writing as much as what i tot of during this time...thats all


To sum up my feeling today :

Dissappointed , Betrayed , sucky feeling ....( it will go away )


anyway ... God be with us ..

Emmanuel Robin Tan
21/4/08


The proud daddy of Lucas Christian Tan