13 to 16 of jan

I been telling myself to write about Kel's wake for the longest time but didnt make an effort to...Why? Maybe i am too mentally tired , burnout... Perhaps these are just excuses...Who knws...Anyway this is my account of what happen from 13th to the 16th of jan

Kelvin's last breath...

13/jan/2006( Friday)

It was like any other afternoon, i was getting ready to train a bunch of students at Sengkang primary sch. Lionel Wong called me, telling me that Kelvin was very very weak and both of us decided to visit him on the 14th jan which eventually did not take place. At that point of time, i didnt knw wat to do .. the only thing that was in my mind was the power of prayer... I decided to mass sms to christians that i knw , within the church , outside the church ...and so on... 50+ of them ... I asked God that he will be with this family, he will grant Kelvin Peace, take away his pain , I asked God to shower peace upon Amara ( kel's mum) , Moses( kel's dad) and his family....My boss , a fellow christian ( who i wasnt quite close to ) even offered to send his prayer team down, his pastor and so on... I called Amara , she told me just pray for them ....I was really very down then ... i wanted to help so much but cant do much , all that i can do was to pray...

LATER THAT NIGHT

I was home at about 8 plus, getting ready for a jog... all ready to go ... I received a phone call from William saying that he has news that Kelvin is dead... I was like .. NO ...!!!! I called Lionel to confirmed... and it was real... He was dead.... I was devastated... I didnt know what to do ... I was sitting at a corner of my room, staring at my drumset, didnt know what to say or do .. I cried....

I called Eugene, and later i found out that Kelvin went very peacefully... his breath was constant, it went slower, and eventually , a deep breath and stop... He went so peacefully that all those around him then didnt even realised....

Kelvin's memorial service
14/jan/2006( Sat)

630pm
I went there , was supposed to play drum for the service in memory of him.. I felt weak, i kept crying . I wanted to be alone and i really cant accept the fact that he has left me...Everytime i looked up, i see the coffin and his photo, tears flows...

8pm

The service started... Eugene and EIC ( Jack, Joseph and a keyboardist ) played a few songs in tribute to Him...They even sang one of his favourtie song Aeroplane by red hot chilli pepper.. I was up next, played a few hill songs, songs that he played before and enjoyed playing... But i just cant focus... Someone even mentioned during the wake, Dont be Sad... "If Kelvin is here, this place will be full with clowns, filled with balloons and BBQ... " How can i not be ... he was my best frd..( he still and will always be ) Jacob went up soon after and shared a short message... then came the big moment... All the people were asked to pay their last respect to Kelvin... Soon it was my turn ... i saw him lying there... i was in tears.. I hugged Amara, we cried... i told her i miss him very much and i hug sharon... i was really very sad then ... Shattered.. it was like part of my life was suddenly Gone... I was really down then ... No one could console me then ... Not even Diona...

Kelvin's memorial service ( day 2)
15/jan/2006( Sunday)

All was about the same, Ray ( another EIC guy) went up sang a few songs for him, a few guys , gals went up to talk about Kelvin ...as a person, a mentor, a brother..The band was up next , i didnt play then , i was really in a state whereby i dont want to screw anything up...guess i am just a coward..

I was putting on a brave front throughout... was going around consoling anyone that i could talk to .... I went up to look at him again ... He was wearing his favourite I LOVE NEW YORK Tee shirt) He look so peaceful... I know for sure he is now enjoying himself up there...in heaven ..

Cremation day ( day 3)

16/JAN /2006

I was asked to be one of the coffin bearer... i think it is a good thing because i know it will be good for me to carry my brother One last time ...Before they seal the coffin, at that point of time, i guess i was not willing to accept that Kel is gone.... I asked Rev Poh .... What if he is still alive... what if he is only sleeping... Rev Goh looked at me, he said... " Not this one Emmanuel... Not this one .."

he was cremated... it was a very sad scenario and i was really very sad then ....I wanted to cry so badly.. but i know i cant.. i have to be strong.. and i know for sure Kelvin wont want me to be sad...

I didnt write much of the detail because i am realli lost.....pls bear with me....

yours

robin emman

31/01/06

To Kelvin... the smile will always be there...:) C ya