this yr CNY...Mixed feeling, the dreams
Chinese new year this year was not the same for me... I was kinda down with flu since eve of new yr and didnt really recover as of yet...All clinics were closed, cant go to the doc...Damn .. The only highlight during the first day of new year was was when i received an sms from Lionel saying that Aaron was back in Church .. After 3 yrs of MIA .... he is back!!! Yes ... well i was so thrilled that i rushed down to church just to say hi to him ... I know tat is not really a right motive ha ha but still i am really happy just to see him once again ...In BPMC now, ever since Kel left , its left with , me , lionel, wenjie and Aaron... ( as in the BBQ Clan) Of cos i am damn delighted to see him !!! I invited the clan to my house tat night and we had some fun... playing games, whip cream with orange juice ( my very own governor smile) but deep inside , everyone is missing Kelvin but no one says anything....
You know it is amazing what Kelvin has done since he been gone... He had brought the group closer to each other .. i guess everyone treasure each other now...i am not speaking for others.... for myself at least, i know i treasure everyone around me more...
I still remember i used to bitch around (yea!!! like a typical woman hahahah) grumble, shugged, get upset very easily....i guess there isnt a need for such reaction to trivial matters...Think about it, if someone provoke you , if you get upset , dont you think you are falling into their trap ??
I dont knw, but i do treasure each and everyone of you out there... be it my closest kins, my friends and so on ....i really do.. i used to quote Live life to the fullest ... Not anymore... It should be ..Live Life with full meaning ...
I shall not bore anyone with all these theories... anymore....
Anyway this new yr isnt that fantasic because it is just not the same... Maybe i am older? Maybe i am just tired ? Maybe i find it meaningless?
This CNY thingy aside....
I dreamt about Kelvin for two nights continuously....30/1 and 31/1 .....It was so real.. i dont know what it means... Maybe he was assuring me that he is fine .... i dont know...but i can say the dream was so real ..People might say that i think too much and so on... but seriously... i dont think its too much ... after all he is very close to me ... I remembered last friday night when i was standing there alone at WALA WALA ( a pub in holland v) EIC was playing .. i was like HOW I WISH HE IS STILL THERE STANDING NEXT TO ME ... When Joseph ( the drummer ) came over and ask me am i there alone.... i smile and tell him without Kelvin..sure i am alone there...Maybe it was rude of me to answer that way .. pardon me .. but the truth is i do go Wala with him or i go alone :(
I remembered that the gig ended at 1am ...i decided to hang around at Holland V, i was walking down the rd, i sat right outside Swensen.. and i was there alone for 1 hr wishing that there will be someone there to talk to me... I had said it before, i will never break down in front of anyone, I be the pillar... but sometime i really wish i can just get a stranger, tell everything to the stranger and release all my pain and sorrow....
It was 3 plus ... i decided to head home.... i eventually sat down at my house void deck , asking help from God... I am tired , mentally tired....eventually went home....
The Dream( part 1)
I dreamt that we went out together , and we had a great time together... then i recieved a phone call from him ..Yes ! From Kelvin.. he sounded very weak, he told me in a very soft and weak tone that he is dying ... i remember him saying : " Robin, i am dying.. i am dying...." i woke up ... and it was kinda wierd... i dont know what it is all about ....
The dream ( part 2)
This morning , i was dreaming about we guys having a game of soccer , then we were partying at a place.. the place was kinda dark , Kelvin went missing ... i was searching for him , then i saw this bright light shining towards me ... There i saw Kelvin walking thru the entrance and he went to another room... before he entered, he took a final look and then he left... He was wearing the NWO tee shirt ...
Lord Lord... i dont know what all these dreams are and mean... if it is your will, translate for me and let me know ...
My brother Kelvin.. are you telling me something?
Robin
1/2/06
You know it is amazing what Kelvin has done since he been gone... He had brought the group closer to each other .. i guess everyone treasure each other now...i am not speaking for others.... for myself at least, i know i treasure everyone around me more...
I still remember i used to bitch around (yea!!! like a typical woman hahahah) grumble, shugged, get upset very easily....i guess there isnt a need for such reaction to trivial matters...Think about it, if someone provoke you , if you get upset , dont you think you are falling into their trap ??
I dont knw, but i do treasure each and everyone of you out there... be it my closest kins, my friends and so on ....i really do.. i used to quote Live life to the fullest ... Not anymore... It should be ..Live Life with full meaning ...
I shall not bore anyone with all these theories... anymore....
Anyway this new yr isnt that fantasic because it is just not the same... Maybe i am older? Maybe i am just tired ? Maybe i find it meaningless?
This CNY thingy aside....
I dreamt about Kelvin for two nights continuously....30/1 and 31/1 .....It was so real.. i dont know what it means... Maybe he was assuring me that he is fine .... i dont know...but i can say the dream was so real ..People might say that i think too much and so on... but seriously... i dont think its too much ... after all he is very close to me ... I remembered last friday night when i was standing there alone at WALA WALA ( a pub in holland v) EIC was playing .. i was like HOW I WISH HE IS STILL THERE STANDING NEXT TO ME ... When Joseph ( the drummer ) came over and ask me am i there alone.... i smile and tell him without Kelvin..sure i am alone there...Maybe it was rude of me to answer that way .. pardon me .. but the truth is i do go Wala with him or i go alone :(
I remembered that the gig ended at 1am ...i decided to hang around at Holland V, i was walking down the rd, i sat right outside Swensen.. and i was there alone for 1 hr wishing that there will be someone there to talk to me... I had said it before, i will never break down in front of anyone, I be the pillar... but sometime i really wish i can just get a stranger, tell everything to the stranger and release all my pain and sorrow....
It was 3 plus ... i decided to head home.... i eventually sat down at my house void deck , asking help from God... I am tired , mentally tired....eventually went home....
The Dream( part 1)
I dreamt that we went out together , and we had a great time together... then i recieved a phone call from him ..Yes ! From Kelvin.. he sounded very weak, he told me in a very soft and weak tone that he is dying ... i remember him saying : " Robin, i am dying.. i am dying...." i woke up ... and it was kinda wierd... i dont know what it is all about ....
The dream ( part 2)
This morning , i was dreaming about we guys having a game of soccer , then we were partying at a place.. the place was kinda dark , Kelvin went missing ... i was searching for him , then i saw this bright light shining towards me ... There i saw Kelvin walking thru the entrance and he went to another room... before he entered, he took a final look and then he left... He was wearing the NWO tee shirt ...
Lord Lord... i dont know what all these dreams are and mean... if it is your will, translate for me and let me know ...
My brother Kelvin.. are you telling me something?
Robin
1/2/06
posted by The Great Eman at 2/01/2006 11:06:00 AM
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