7 to 8 of feb

7th of feb 2006

I not stupid too ( a movie that actually speaks in regards to most of the children life both past and present) I went to watch it with a group of friends, Michelle, angelina, her bf and that guy ( erm sorry am very bad at names) Well overall i must say it is a must watch for all.. So often in the show, it actually reflects on my childhood life.. You knw all the caning, beating, whipping and all the teachers always right , you are always wrong shit...

There was a part of the show where the kid was being whacked by the dad and he yelled " When will you stop beating me " Ha ha , i remembered so clearly that i said that to my folks too...

8th of feb 2006

Was sharing with my mum abt the show, she was saying that they wont understand how we as a child will feel if we dont tell them , but haha , were we be given a chance to?? I am still worried for their salvation, as in my mum and dad .. My dad is going to church doing all the things that he could do but this aside , he is doing all the things so that he gets praises from People, my mum is going to church with hatred and grudges of the people around her... I told her the story abt How Jesus say Let he who haf not sin cast the first stone... She knws abt it , but she is not following. Who are we to judge? She say she believe in God, yet she will praise God for all the good things and curse at him when all goes wrong... All i could ever do was to ask for forgiveness on their behalf... If this is one thing that i have to do , i will surely try my very best , give my all to help bring my parents, in fact people around me to christ... Saying you believe isnt good enough, you haf to practice and do it ... which is one thing i am learning too ...Well, its never bad to fail and its never good to Quit... Because by quiting , you will never move on... Somehow or rather i wish my dad and mum will understand wat i am trying to say

This aside... I had made up my mind, mission work .. mission trip in June.. 5th to 12th of June...Thailand. i Guess i have found out what my gifts are and i think i will be an instrument of God and be made used of Fully.... I should be able to use my strength to help them in building, carrying .. I should be able to use the gift of being joy to people, to share the joy with children there.. Teach them sports , play with them ???Who knows... Is this my purpose ? I am thinking , but honestly i am leaving it to God...

All you people will not believe it , but i had ended my 3 yr relationship with Diona, yes .. its over.. Well we believe starting from scratch , being as friends again isnt that bad after all... I mean Love is just an entitlement i guess, Whats the main thing for us being in this world? To fall in love , to start a legacy ? Nah .... i come to realise , is to work for God.. be it with or without a relationship and so on ...

I hope this is a right move.. and here i am God.... Searching and going towards your direction... Make use of me .. fully....

:)

Robin